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About Varied / Hobbyist Giving it where it's due.Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Literature
Eulogy of the Old Me
During the four and a half years it took me to earn this degree, I overcame ridiculous amounts of anxiety and bullshit.  In that time I had two meaningful relationships followed by two devastating break-ups; lost and renewed my faith; got screwed over by both my schools; travelled to the other side of the world; discovered how unspeakably marvelous nature is; endured three semesters of terrible, abusive roommates before finally living with decent people; almost got arrested; was preyed upon by countless men, some of whom I trusted; helped my family; got excellent grades; was woefully underpaid but worked my ass off at my jobs; lost all my friends; and started growing a backbone.  Oh, and I learned all about marine science, too.  
Even if I never enter this field, I am proud to have this degree because it is a symbol of all I have endured.  The long process of getting it has been the greatest battle of my life, and its acquisition is proof that, by God, I won.
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Literature
Three More Important Words
After work and new social situations stressed me out,
I broke down to him.
I never wanted him to see me like this, but I knew he would sooner or later.
I just never wanted it to be.  I wanted to be good for him.  Be normal for him, because I think he’s normal and so are his friends.
It seems stupid, that a woman with everything going for her has such crippling doubts about herself.
So I told him my problem, how it plagues me and how it never goes away,
how I fight a battle with myself every day to accept who I am and be satisfied with that,
and how sometimes, like yesterday, I lose.
He said to me three words I will hold in my heart forever,
Three little words I will take and run the stretches of my life with:
“Babeeee
You're winning!”
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Literature
Up and Up, and Up Again
Down and out can bite me
I'm on the up and up
(Next time I'm down and out,
Someone remind me I said this.)
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Mature content
Master of Baiters :iconpartial-credit:Partial-Credit 0 1
Literature
Old Spark
How is it, after all the hurt,
I keep having dreams about you?
In each of them we are catching up,
Finding there’s a spark to renew.
Both of us still live with our families,
But fully grown and nicely matured,
We find ourselves on the same level,
Drawn to feed our past flame anew.
My former regrets are faded,
Anxieties plague me no more.
I am free to love you properly,
Now’s the chance I cannot ignore.
Current events in my life become trivial
Upon seeing the man you’ve become,
A man refined and dignified,
Whose eyes hint a subtle allure.
Now that the years have saged us,
We appreciate the sensual kiss,
The gentle one only true lovers do
When their souls kiss each other with lips.
When the old spark ignites, I awake,
Warmed by it ‘til forced to recall,
The man of my dreams is the man in my dreams –
He doesn’t actually exist.
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Literature
Fluent in Body Language
I hope I look like I’ve been through hell
Because I have.
A part of me wishes I could emerge looking unscathed,
Head held high, steady gait,
So I could look like everyone else does after they’ve made it through a doozy.
But, that would belie my natural state.
I want you to see my hair wind-tousled,
My face sallowed and eyes hollowed,
Cheeks slashed and hands cut up,
Forearms scraped, heart pierced, legs bruised, and limping,
Back bent under the weight,
For so burdened are my soul and mind,
And though you do not know how to read those yet,
Perhaps you are fluent in body language?
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Literature
Start the Clock
    Tariel was grateful the first things she became aware of were her own consciousness and her sense of tactile contact, followed by her hearing. If she had regained the ability to move first, her muscles’ instinctive spasms would have betrayed her. Her neck and appendages were tightly restrained by cold metal, presumably thick shackles. She felt tension behind them and realized they were suspending her in the air. By a long-rehearsed technique, she deadened her muscles and stopped her diaphragm before it could draw breath. Intense self-discipline allowed her to flare her airways so drafts of stale, artificially cold air could waft in and out of her lungs.
    What brainpower she could spare was devoted to making sense of muffled voices. Some machinery oscillated in the background, low enough that the voices could speak without yelling. She could discern three, maybe four, different voices by pitch. Rapid swishing, tapping, and beeping suggested mult
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Literature
Never A Wizard
I feel like a stranger in a foreign land.
I clearly don’t belong to this world –
What am I doing belonging in it?
What magic have I given up by becoming human?
Although, I never became human;
I was created human.
The only thing I stopped being to become human was nothing.
So magic was never mine to have.
I wish that was untrue.
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Literature
Tell Me I'm Wrong
So tell me I’m wrong
Go ahead
Tell me I’m wrong
It won’t be
The first time I’ve heard
That said
But the last time I
Regret
‘Cause I have needs
That were never met
By those before
Our outset
Finally I
Realized
I shouldn’t be -
Be vandalized
So go ahead, tell me I’m sick in the head
Tell me I’m too back and forth
But I tell you I found my worth
So tell me I’m wrong
Go ahead
Tell me I’m wrong
It won’t be
The first time I’ve heard
That said
But the last time I
Regret
Back in the day
I’d sell myself
Short and I’d pay
For it with my health
I put my soul
On the back burner
Trying to keep
Someone mine for sure
So by all means, tell me I’m crazy please
Tell me I’m too back and forth
I tell you I’m fighting for my worth
So go ahead
Tell me I’m wrong
Go ahead
Tell me I’m wrong
It won’t be
The first time I’ve heard
That said
But the last time I
Regret
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Literature
Dark Days
Every once in a while I hold my breath too long
I forget how to live, forget the dance and the song
Take a bow, plant my face in the dirt, bow out,
Flip out, skip out on the race,
Turn-about is fair play
Time for my share of dark days
Slip back into my old ways
Can’t take the pressure on my back,
I lose my focus, I lose track
Of the fact
I can’t do it on my own
Forget my life is on loan.
Body bruised to the bone,
I dip low, my heart groans, becomes stone,
Forgets the hope that I own.
And it’s dark in the cellar of the soul
It’s like my mind gets erased in that cold
Don’t remember who I am or how to go
Only the pain of the past remains
And who I blame for my anger and my shame and the choices I’ve made.
The frustration seems endless, take it out on my senses,
Defying the Blessed, twice the need to confess it,
But the guilt pours in along with the sin
But now’s the time to lay bare my offenses.
Can’t face the day, all eyes are on me,
I don’t m
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Literature
Deep Sleep
Tonight, I sleep.
I stop reading my National Geographic's, trying to get a feel of the world
I stop reading books that distract me from my faith
I stop thinking about internships, work, and my career
I stop thinking about my homework
I stop listening to my music
I stop worrying about which boy to date.
I just feel really grateful for the friends I still have they're true friends.
I stop hurting for my mom, who's always in pain
I stop worrying about my jobless brothers
I stop feeling frustrated with my dad
I stop being sad about my sick fish and wilting houseplant
I stop being insecure
I stop feeling tired, dirty, helpless, and slow.
Tonight, I just sleep as God the Father cradles me in His arms.
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Literature
Never a Wizard
I feel like a stranger in a foreign land.
I clearly don't belong to this world
What am I doing belonging in it?
What magic have I given up by becoming human?
Although, I never became human;
I was created human.
The only thing I stopped being to become human was nothing.
So magic was never mine to have.
I wish that was untrue.
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Literature
Forbidden Fruit
I am a pineapple stripper.
I have formed around the sweet, exotic fruit of my spirit
a wild exterior, a tough and spiky wall
to keep the predators and parasites out,
and to keep out disrespect.
But I grab myself by the leaves and tear away that wall from my spirit
so the fruit is exposed, and naked,
and I bear it to whomever I expect to respect me regardless of my actions, thoughts, and hypocrisy.
And then I expect them to respect me after I go and disrespect myself.
The pineapple's defenses fail not because it is inadequate to defend outside assaults,
but because the one it defends continually undermines it.
Oh, when will I learn to replace what I want with what should be?
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Despondent.
I wanted you to hold me close,
To whisper in my ear
Everything I've been begging,
even dying to hear.
Desperate, I am not,
But not that you aren't near.
Desperate I am, despite all my plans
To save, to miss, the lonely abyss
Because to fall in again would only begin
The torture and pain I've lost sight of again.
The record's stopped turning and the room keeps burning
And I was left alone at the dial tone,
Because
Baby,
You're
Never
There.
And maybe you never cared
For the connection that we shared.
Headfirst, I fell hard, I dared,
But you ended it because you were scared
And now I couldn't care less for the glares.
I can't see through the lies,
And I refuse to apologize
Because there's nothing to be sorry for.
Sorry that I'm keeping score,
But it keeps me sane at thirty-to-four,
And I'm not the one breaking hearts, slamming doors,
Taking it out on my family of four,
Cursing out of every pore.
What am I waiting for?
Searching for?
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Heart of Glass and Stone
Heart of glass and stone.
Fragile yet cold from being alone.
Easily splintered into shards,
That become acidic and pierce other hearts.
So many times we are hurt,
That we become callous and always speak harsh, cutting words.
Heart of glass and stone.
When will love make you its home?
Heart of glass and stone, its time to come alive.
When was it that you died?
Come back to life and feel again.
The pain you bore was not the end.
Heart of glass and stone, awake from your grief ridden sleep.
Arise from among the deeps.
Become whole as you  were long ago.
Rise from the grave of your mourning and cast off the cold of pain's bitter snow.
Heart of glass and stone, the ice that has held you is ready to break.
Open yourself and awake.
Let the sun shine and step out of the night.
Come back to life.
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Advice To Writers
ADVICE TO WRITERS
I know the group has made a similar entry on this before, but I thought a little refresher for our Farfetch'd entrants would not be amiss. After all, I am a writer, and I would like to see our rank prosper! So, I thought I might give some tips to would-be writers out there.
Please do not be offended by this! It is not meant to insult, only to help, and hopefully inspire!
I'll start with a warning: writing is not easy. I have a feeling some members decided to write because drawing was too hard, and they thought the easy way out would be to simply write instead! Unfortunately, writing requires just as much effort as any drawn artist. The same way anyone can take a pencil to paper, anyone can put words on a screen. But the same way those lines on a paper can look terrible if you haven't put them together right, your words and sentences will be sloppy and unintelligible without effort!
As with drawing, writing takes practice, practice, practice. I started seriously writin
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You guys know - it's obvious from my writing - that my poems express how I am feeling at a particular moment or chapter in my life.  I came to write poems in the first place because it was, and remains, therapeutic.

That being said, I am very glad to read over my old stuff and realize I don't feel that way anymore.
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Giving it where it's due.
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Favourite genre of music: VG & movie soundtracks
Favourite cartoon character: Ash Ketchum
Personal Quote: "You don't have a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a body." - C.S. Lewis
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:iconneoconvoy:
Neoconvoy Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Student General Artist
Merry christmas and happy new year!

God bless you!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgitjJ…
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:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome to #PoeticalCondition!
We are happy to include you as one of our members and look forward to your contributions.
We hope to see you as an active part of our humble group.

Your Founder, RiseandBe
:iconpoeticalcondition:
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:iconpartial-credit:
Partial-Credit Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! I am delighted to be counted among you!
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:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure! Happy to hear it. =D
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:iconriseandbe:
RiseandBe Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome to #PoeticalCondition!
We are happy to include you as one of our members and look forward to your contributions.
We hope to see you as an active part of our humble group.

Your Founder, RiseandBe
:iconpoeticalcondition:
Reply
:icongetittogethermerlin:
GetItTogetherMerlin Featured By Owner May 1, 2013
Thank You for the comments!
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:iconpartial-credit:
Partial-Credit Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure! Keep up the great work and have fun!
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forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch! :heart:
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Partial-Credit Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
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:iconneoconvoy:
Neoconvoy Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student General Artist
Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
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